Latest update (Not much)

It has been a little over 3 months since out letter went into circulation and we have not had any real contacts. 2 email spams and 1 wrong number. (Some woman called our 800 number by mistake when she meant to call the agency. She actually knew a birthmother and was trying to make an adoption plan with her.) Our letter has gone out a few times. That means that a birthmother asked to see our letter along with others but never contacted us. It is hard right now. We have done all that we can do, really. Last week we mailed out 100 letters to organizations around the country. (Clinics, hospitals, etc.) So, at least we can keep looking for new contacts.We did go to a group meeting at the agency. We were the only couple there that had not adopted, yet. That was challenging but it was inspiring to hear all the different journeys to parenthood. And a reminder that it will happen it is just a matter of when. 

Other than that we are trying to take friends advice. Take advantage of the time that you have. Go out, stay out late, sleep in, travel because you will do less of all of those things as a parent. So we are trying to do that. 

Life speeding by

Well it has been a while since I posted. Things have been moving right along though. We did finally get the letter printed, approved and in circulation. And we got the website designed with the donation of time from a friend. We have sent the website out to most people we know and quite a few people that we don't know. Now we are starting to focus on getting the letters out to people. Trying to get it to people who have a greater probability of meeting a birth mom and working out from there. As our counselor keeps reminding us it only takes one connection.
It seems like it has been about a month since our letter went into circulation. In some ways this is the hardest part, the waiting. We are really trying to be patient but it isn't easy. Most of the time we are busy enough that we don't focus on it too long. If we dwell on it we will go crazy. The reality is we could get a call tomorrow or in a year. It is hard to be ready for that.

Letter still on hold

Well, if you have been following along you know that today we had hoped to have out letters in hand. But, alas, that is not true. Although I did get the file to the printer last Friday and we did get to have a nice relaxing weekend the proof has still not been approved by the agency, yet. We did get a proof on Monday and A drove the proof to the agency but we didn't hear back from them until Friday. Since we didn't have the actual photo print that we will be attaching they didn't want to approve it and they had one more minor change. Needless to say, we were a little upset. I was just plain mad. I thought the proof was really a formality. Now I may have to change the file, upload it, and get another proof.
We were both getting pretty impatient and frustrated until A posted on the agency's discussion forums and heard from other adoptive families who went through very similar processes. We have to remind each other that they are only trying to help us in the way that they have helped thousands of other families. We have been waiting a long time we can wait a little longer.

Printing is full of pain

Who knew you needed to be a graphic designer and web designer to become a parent. It certainly feels that way right now. We have spent some long hours on creating the design, picking the photos and writing the text. After 3 revisions with our social worker we got approval to get the letter printed. Who knew the painful process that would be. After printing the letter at home and getting it the way we wanted I took it into work to use our laser printer. (My boss offered to let me use our printer to save money) 2 laser printers, 1 ink jet printer and 2 kinds of paper later I gave up trying to print it at work. On to a professional print shop. The print shop was very helpful. After talking to them we decided that paying for the print service was best. I still had to prepare the files, though. Another arduous process. Especially when I discovered most of the photos would have to be imported again at a higher resolution. So, I did that. And with the help of a few friends we got all the photos in the correct resolution. So, right now I am uploading the files to the print service. Multiple times to get everything right. We will have a proof on Monday. If all goes well we will have the letters by April 4 and we will be sending them out after that.

This has been quite the learning experience. I didn't want to pay someone to do the letter for us. I am not sure if that was the right choice. We did save a lot of money and I did learn some valuable skills. But it also has eaten up a lot of our time. Including part of our vacation. Now that the letter is finally done (I hope). I am going to try enjoy the rest of the time off I have.

1st group session

This week we went to our first group "counseling" session. It isn't really counseling but more of a support group. After you adopt it is required until the adoption is finalized. But the groups are open to any couples in the process. We weren't the only couples waiting to adopt who attended but we were in the minority. We heard some fantastic stories. Everything from easy as cake to long drawn out processes. But they all had babies so the stories always had happy endings.The group was very supportive of each other and helpful with challenges. Since everyone is different places in the process there is a lot of experience to share.
Our process is getting close to the next phase. All the paperwork has been turned in. We will have to do some revisions to birth mother letter and then the web site.Once that is done we will start with some self promotion. So, if you are reading this you will probably get some letters to hand out. One of the stories we heard was how the adoptive mother and birth mother's mother had the same OB/GYN. The OB/GYN showed the letter to the birth mother and they ended up matching. So, the match doesn't have to start at the agency. Our baby can come from anywhere.

Seeing all those couples at the meeting with their babies made it real for me. This will happen. It is just a matter of time.

Long overdue

Well there hasn't been a lot of progress lately but I still feel like it has been too long since I posted. We are finally closing in on the last of the paperwork. It is a long and tedious process and over the past few weeks I realized that the actual paperwork is only part of the process. Each of the choices we have to make on the forms will have influence on the birth mother we match with. So, it isn't the actual check this box if you want this or fill in this form for that. It is the discernment process of what is the best choice for us. Can we spend X for more travel, or medical expenses, etc? How much is X? Can we accept and handle the challenges of a child who is A or B?
But with that said, we have made almost all those decisions and filled out all the forms. We are now down to finishing the birth mother letter. And that is progressing nicely. I made a lot of progress this weekend on the photos and formatting. With a little bit of writing we should be able to send it off to our case worker at the agency for review.

Life keeps happpening

We are still working through the process. Life keeps getting in the way of our planning. :)
the good news is that A's cousin took some great photos for our birth mother letter. We are still working on the letter. In case I have not made the challenge clear. Imagine that you have a 2 page full color letter to convince a birth mother that you and your partner as great parents. That is our birth mother letter. We want it to be honest and true but we want it to be appealing to the birth mothers.